Stop Financial Worries
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Change your money mindset and change your relationship with money!
“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around us in awareness.” James Thurber (1894-1961)
According to a 2023 Bankrate survey over half (52%) of Americans said money negatively impacts their mental health. Of those, almost a third worry about money every day.
I conducted an unscientific poll in July 2023, where I asked people to indicate their top financial fear and share their stories about money-related stress. The responses offered candid insights and pointed to significant opportunities for people who are ready to build healthier relationships with money.
Top Financial Fears
381 people responded to my July 2023 unscientific poll and identified their top money-related fear. The responses are shown in the graph below.
What is your number 1 money fear?
The data suggests that fear of the unknown is a major contributor to financial anxiety. Nearly 30% of my respondents indicated “Unknown Crisis” as their top financial fear. The aforementioned Bankrate survey indicated 56% are worried they may not have sufficient emergency savings.
The poignant, open-ended observations that were shared by survey respondents pointed to surprising commonalities among the diverse group. A common theme is the fear of outpacing income. I received stories of young adults living with parents in order to manage their finances, and parents living with young adults because they did not plan for retirement. One woman shared this:
“[I’m worried about] inflation out-pacing my income, or my husband or I becoming very sick and accruing an amount of debt that will consume not only our savings but also the life insurance money that would be due upon our passing. I work in low-income housing and see widows and widowers' files often. Homes are sold, bills are paid, bankruptcy is filed, and the spouse who remains moves on with nothing to their name. I'm talking about well-off people who worked their whole lives and saved diligently but still have to learn how to survive in poverty as seniors.”
Another individual said, “The government continues to mindlessly print worthless currency, devaluing the common man’s purchasing power, while the elites continue to gobble up every hard asset, further increasing inequality.”
One self-described “middle-aged dude” underscores a sense of instability and scarcity that many of us grapple with daily. He wrote:
“Even though relatively comfortable now, I worry about the possibility that it all could just come falling apart like a house of cards if a crisis or long-term medical issue came up. Medical bills and medical issues pretty much ruined my parents' financial lives. I remember being broke and struggling as a young adult, and I worried about very specific things like that noise my car was making, or how much I had to put on the credit card that month just to survive. Even when most money issues now are more of an inconvenience than an actual worry, the fear of losing the present security is real.”
As we can see from these responses, money fears are not limited to those who are unemployed. Many people are living with a nagging concern that they may lose their jobs, have a medical emergency, or both.
Observations about money that were shared include the lack of stability of the dollar. Projections include those with the fear that money will be controlled by a minority of people who will manipulate the government.
These responses point to a way of being in relationship with money that is so pervasive it’s difficult to name, let alone imagine any other way. But imagining another way is often the first step to living a full and abundant life.
There is more than one way to think about money
In my experience as a counselor and personal coach, I have seen overwhelming evidence that our stories can sabotage our financial success and get in the way of our ability to live our best lives. We can do things, intentionally or unintentionally, that result in wasted resources. We can procrastinate by not taking important business actions and this can result in additional harm. Fear can become our enemy instead of an important response to danger.
The good news is that things do not have to be dichotomous: rich or poor, abundance or lack, good or bad. We don’t have to use rationalization as a defense mechanism when it comes to money. I’ve heard clients say “I don’t need those things anyway” or “money is the root of all evil.” In fact, money is simply a means of exchange. Your thinking is what gives it different power. Think about wealth beyond monetary value.
Start by changing your negative money stories. What is the thing that you have done with (or because of) money that you are proudest of? For example, contributing to a scholarship fund that helps a student fulfill a dream, or moving closer to an aging loved one.
If you’re having trouble thinking of something, consider setting a goal. It could be as simple as showing your children that generosity is something you value.
Dealing with Financial Crisis or Windfall
For people dealing with a sudden and significant change in their personal or family finances - like a major loss or sudden gain - stories are often created without the individuals’ conscious awareness about motivations, causes, and future impact. These stories can be very different among the parties involved, and conflict and difficulties often arise. Using careful reflection, honesty, and intentionality, a stressful financial situation can lead to tremendous opportunity, personal growth and deepening relationships.
Changing your money mindset can change your thoughts that result in fear of failure or success.
Ready to start changing your Money Mindset?
Changing your money mindset can change your thoughts that result in fear of failure or success.
If you are stuck in a money mindset of scarcity or lack, a good first step for many is to interrupt your mental patterns. As strange as it seems, a number of my clients have found significant relief and renewed focus by using a technique called tapping, also known as the emotional freedom technique. If you’re curious, you can learn the pressure points that you cam tap and practice statements that express your fear of how things are now in your relationship with money.
Then try practice statements that express the way you want to feel about money. An example of a negative current fear that you may use with tapping: “I hate to look at my investment statements because I don’t trust the process.” “Every time I look at it, it has decreased. I will never retire.” An example of a positive future emotion related to money: “I deserve a comfortable life and will enjoy today and many days to come with my family. I have made the best decisions that I know how to make. I will continue to learn about other options related to investments.”
Next steps:
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Include gratitude in your thinking about money.
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Create an electronics vision board representing an abundance mindset.
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Get practical information about money management from a financial manager.
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Address your money related fears with a coach or counselor.
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Consider Money Mindset Group Coaching
About the Author
Felicia Prescott, LPC is a licensed personal counselor and the founder of Counselor, Coach, Confidant, a firm that provides teletherapy in Georgia and Virginia and personal coaching services across North America. Felicia is a co-facilitator of Money Mindset group coaching sessions that help professionals who want to become their best selves and change their relationship with money.
Money Mindset Activity
“I want my children to have the best. I want them to have things that I didn’t have.”
“I want to teach my children to save.”
Neither value is right and neither value is wrong. Finding out where these values come from helps you understand reactions of judgement, or fear in money matters. Story matters in your values. You and your co-parent can make more united decisions when you understand each other’s values. But first you must understand your own values.
What are your top 3 values?
Take a moment and list your top 3 values from the list.
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Independence
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Stability
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Power
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Recognition
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Wealth
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Relaxation
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Freedom
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Achievement
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Free time
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Career
A person who values family in the top 3 might want to spend extra time and money at home. A person who values career in the top three may want to spend extra time working. The areas in your life that your prioritize will vary. If you are ready to start changing your money mindset, contact us to request a no cost consultation.
My Stories
Your money mindset starts with your beliefs. Here are my stories.